Monday, September 26, 2011

No One Thing

I am searching for no one thing. Nothing. Not the next best thing. Not the last great place. Oh, I peruse around for the best chocolate cupcake recipe a full-bodied bottle of wine Cheap plane tickets to Florence a handmade winter cap for my baby love. Can I say these things? can I say I'm a hedonist who adores the earth's beauty and little things, like the gathered buzzing of bees drunk on nectar bare feet on a cold stone floor, drifting powerless clouds, and slow foods? Can I say, with proper respect I'm not pushing up against anything? Defining my space, at war for a cause drawing a circle in the sand? Can I say the earth is dying everyday? Will others become suspicious if I do not join? Will they call me stupid and ignorant of their god/theory/science? Will I be thought of less, here, if I say these things? That the world is much bigger than All our fears That she will turn in time and her natural excavation will plow us under Can I say this without being hated? Can I say there is no It? Can I say Shiva is not It? Nor Jesus or Buddha? Nor running marathons, publishing books, winning the lottery, feeding the poor, conquering a mountain, surviving illness. With proper respect, can I say there is no one thing that will save us, nothing to search for, little to do. What does it take to fill oneself up? There are mountains beyond mountains. There are oceans beneath oceans. Sky beyond claimed and unclaimed sky. And do I think because I push around a single grain of sand, I am special? That I will never die? That I will live forever? Can I do my work and still be happy? Can I hold all the beauties and horrors of the world in my heart, and still be spacious and loving? Can I burn for Life as well as Strife with reverence for all, Searching for nothing? With proper respect, can I say there is nothing to save?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Santa Fe, New Mexico


  1. I like your poem, Monica. It took me so long to learn some of the things you highlight so well, and your words bring to my mind the old Indigo Girl song, "Closer to Fine," by Emily Saliers:

    "There’s more than one answer to these questions
    Pointing me in a crooked line
    The less I seek my source for some definitive
    The closer I am to fine"

  2. Thank you for your feedback, Barbara. I wrote this poem while at Upaya Zen Center in Santa Fe. Sometimes you have to go slow in order to go deep, and walking and sitting meditations are ideal for slowing down the mind and body. I seem to require this.

    And I so appreciate the words to the Sailers' song. I've never heard them before...THANK perfect!

  3. Monica
    This makes me cry every time ... I am not sure why. Perhaps because it is so clear that you are God's child- and such a beautiful creation at that. It is so poignant to share a person's journey no matter how close they are sailing to the sun, the source.

    I love your pithy, pointed words that penetrate and paint such beautiful saturated colors with a stroke. And I love your unbridled, fearless, brass tack expression of yourself. It is liberating for those who of us who are blessed to share.

  4. Oh Jane, I loved your writing too; thank you for sharing your heart at Upaya. Let's stay in touch.

  5. I was thinking of this just yesterday morning as I stood by the kitchen window, remembering when you read it the first time, and how proud I was when you read it in front of the group. I'm so glad to see it here in your blog!!

  6. Yes, and my voice and knees were shaking! And you and Jane were so supportive...ah, so happy to know you!